Dating Strategy for the UK #3: How to Get a Response

If there’s one question we’ve gotten asked more than any others, it’s, “Why am I not getting responses?”

Yes, there are reasons. You might think that it’s just one of those things, and that no one can predict whether or not a particular profile will get results, but that’s not true!

We’ve found many reasons why some online dating profiles get multiple results and others get none. Yes, most of them are YOUR FAULT, sad to say. However, we like to see that as a good thing—it means that there’s something you can do to prevent such a thing from happening!

The first thing you need to do is make sure your profile is up to snuff before you contact women.

If your profile is bad and doesn’t work, you’re not going to get responses. Women see your email, but they don’t immediately respond. Before they decide to commit, they will ALWAYS go to look at your profile first.

If you don’t have a picture up, if sections are left blank, or if you’re acting like a prat all over the page, they’re never going to email you back. Think to yourself whether being silly and having a laugh is worth not getting the woman of your dreams to contact you back!

If your profile is up to snuff, you’re probably fine on that count. If not, go through our guide to making a killer dating profile for tips and tricks of how to make it sparkle.

The second thing you need to do is RELAX.

You might be surprised to hear this, but one of our most important dating tactics is making sure that you’re not too nervous. Being too nervous is a MASSIVE confidence killer, and women can tell from miles away that you’re not feeling good about yourself.

Think about being in a restaurant. If the chef served you food and was constantly wiping sweat from his brow, biting his lip and looking anxiously at you while you ate, and apologized for the meal before you tasted it, would you feel comfortable sticking a fork into that food?

You’d probably leave the restaurant as fast as you could, and never return—unless you don’t have any sense!

Women are the same way—discerning. If you’re confident about what you’re presenting, a woman is going to feel infinitely more confident about accepting what you’re putting out there—in other words, she’s going to feel more comfortable about going on a first date with you.

Never apologize in your first email! Don’t apologize for contacting her, don’t apologize for not being her type, don’t apologize for anything about your photograph or profile.

If a woman doesn’t want to sleep with you, she won’t sleep with you. You don’t need one that will make you feel guilty about your shortcomings all the time, so don’t sell yourself short.

The third thing to remember is not to pressure a woman.

If a woman feels pressured, she won’t contact you back. It’s as simple as that, really.

If you’re so desperate to get a reply that you put something in your email about a limit, a time limit, or a reason she MUST contact you back, you’ll probably never hear from her again. Women hate being pressured—to her, it will be no better than being catcalled on the street. Have you ever heard of a woman going out with a catcaller?

The fourth thing to remember is to not lower your class level.

You might be surprised at how many men seem to think they’ll receive a good response to a tasteless, low-brow joke. Perhaps unsurprisingly to those of you paying attention at home, this does not work.

If you curse a lot, you’ll drive some women away. True, some women won’t care, but NO women mind the absence of cursing, while some mind its presence, so hedge your bets.

If you can be clever, women love that. However, if you can’t be clever while maintaining a decent level of class, you aren’t really being clever, and she’ll see right through it.

You’re trying to perk her interest. You’re not trying to be an entertainer. All you need to do is get this woman interested enough to get a response, you don’t need her to vote for you as her favorite comedian. This isn’t a competition or a race, and you aren’t going to win anything by being the most crude in the running.