Dating Strategy for the UK #5: How to Get a Girl’s Number

Once you’ve found a girl on a dating website, the first thing that many men want to do is to ask for her phone number. After all, that’s a big step in the right direction, and isn’t that what you both want?

Slow down.

You’re going to need to give it time. Women don’t want to give out their phone numbers to men they’ve only just met online. In fact, asking too soon will make her think that you have an agenda.

You have to be patient. We know that you’re not one of those bad men, but she doesn’t, and she’s the one who’s deciding who’s good enough to get the digits to her mobile, so she’s the one you’re going to have to convince that you’re one of the good guys.

Do this by being patient and giving her time.

Any guy can pressure a girl for her number. Don’t be that bloke. No one likes him, and no one gives him their number.

If you want to get a girl’s number, not only do you have to give her some time, you have to make it clear that you’re not just waiting for it—even if you actually are.

You have to make her feel like you’re BOTH enjoying the process of getting to know each other. You’re going to want to spend quite a lot of time with her if all goes well in the dating world, and this is a good time to make sure she knows you’re serious about dating.

One of the big reasons men like to have a girl’s phone number is that you can verify that the other person on the end of the line is human and nice to talk to before meeting in person.

Ask for her Skype instead.

You’ll still have to wait a few conversations in order to ask for a Skype contact, but this is a lot less frightening for a woman than asking for her physical mobile number. She’ll probably be more inclined to say yes faster than if you ask for the number right away.

This way, you can both get used to saying hello in real time before meeting in person. There’s less pressure, and there’s less of an idea that you’ll try something like trying to track her location.

Understand her fears.

Much of the time, it doesn’t make sense to us that women can be so reluctant to give out their numbers. After all, you just want to get a girl’s number, you don’t want to hurt her—what’s the fuss?

You need to understand where she’s coming from. Remember that more women in the UK are killed by an intimate partner than by any other cause, and that concern starts to make a bit more sense.

Also, remember that she’s grown up in the age of “Internet Safety” lectures and warnings. She’s probably been told over and over again that any bloke she meets online is a secret serial rapist and murderer. The fact that she still wants to meet you is a big plus to your charisma, so take it as the very important compliment it is!

…but don’t MENTION her fears.

It’s very creepy for a woman when men say things like, “I understand you’re afraid of being raped, but I won’t rape you.” You might think that this sounds like you’re making a lighthearted joke.

To a woman, it sounds like, “I’m thinking about you being raped.”

Yes, it’s that simple. Just don’t mention it, and give her time.

Arrange to meet somewhere.

If you can arrange to meet this girl somewhere, she’ll have a very good reason to give you her number—and it won’t be creepy to ask. You might not know how to ask for her numbers, but you can definitely ask her out to an event that will be a good place to meet.

Make sure it’s in a PUBLIC PLACE. That will make her feel comfortable, as well as providing an excuse for why you need her mobile—you’ll need to contact her so that you know where to meet, after all.

Offer to give her your numbers first. Then, she can feel that she has the power of whether to contact you first, and she’ll be more likely to go along with it. Once you have her number, text her back first to say that you’ve got it—and if you’re successful, you should be able to transition the conversation from online to through text.